It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
