It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
