What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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