Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
