i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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