I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
