My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize