Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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