I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize