Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
