Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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