You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
