I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
