put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you win again, gameday.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
