Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
