Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
