I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
