I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
