exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
