I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
