didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
