i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Farmville is her only friend.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
