Please, let me fuck your mom
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
