You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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