i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
