dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
