All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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