pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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