Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
