i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
