O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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