super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
