I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
