Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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