I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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