I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
