I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize