I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
