He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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