i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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