I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
