honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
