I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
