I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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