If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
