either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
