Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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