If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
