Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
