break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
