A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
