it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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