Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
