I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
