Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize