batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
