...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
