we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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