my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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