we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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