I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
