I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
