I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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